bumpwatch terror alert: week 16

i’ve decided that i need to emulate other pregnancy blogs out there & post a weekly bump update. so my game plan is to post every monday & we can all watch my bump grow together. just try not to think too hard about the fact that the baby contained therein is undoubtedly horrifically ugly.Continue reading “bumpwatch terror alert: week 16”

it’s not cute to complain about pregnancy, but…

back when i was first pregnant, everyone kept telling me how much i was going to love the second trimester. “oh, it’s wonderful,” they said. “your nausea disappears, your energy levels are back up, your belly pops & you look super-cute, people on the street can see that you’re pregnant & they’re really nice toContinue reading “it’s not cute to complain about pregnancy, but…”

baby narwhal needs YOU to give it some stuff

i talked to jessika rae the other day, & she convinced me to go ahead & post the baby registry on the internet already. so…here’s the link, for any blog readers that may feel inclined to shower baby narwhal with babyhood necessities. jessika rae was like, “dude, what the hell are you waiting for?” &Continue reading “baby narwhal needs YOU to give it some stuff”

mr. or miss 15-week-old fetus america

everyone says the second trimester is a thing of wonder, a breather between the rollicking nausea & soul-deadening fatigue of the first trimester, & the non-stop discomfort & enormousness of the third. but thus far, i haven’t had much relief. i’m over fifteen weeks pregnant now, still nauseous, still exhausted. & now with extra hormone-inducedContinue reading “mr. or miss 15-week-old fetus america”

it’s like a neverending, really hot playdate with nothing to drink but kombucha

maybe a few weeks ago, i was dicking around on the internet, as you do. i was perusing some terrible advice website, similar to yahoo! answers. maybe it even was yahoo! answers, i don’t remember. anyway, someone had posted & asked, “my baby is bleeding from the eyes. what should i do?” the “best answer”Continue reading “it’s like a neverending, really hot playdate with nothing to drink but kombucha”

i got 99 problems but the baby ain’t really one

when i had the nuchal translucency test done last week, the nurse told me they would have results in ten to fourteen days. but they called me back on tuesday morning–five days later, including a weekend–& told me that everything had come back 100% normal. my finger hadn’t even finished healing from the blood drawContinue reading “i got 99 problems but the baby ain’t really one”

this baby is starting to seem like the real deal

i went in for my nuchal translucency screen yesterday. it had been over five weeks since my last sonogram, & i knew that the baby was probably going to look more like a baby this time around, which was exciting in theory. but the scan wasn’t scheduled until 3:30pm, which is usually the time ofContinue reading “this baby is starting to seem like the real deal”

there are two hearts in my body. that is weird.

today was my first pre-natal appointment with my actual ob-gyn. there was good & there was a bad. the bad mostly involved sitting in the waiting room for 9000 years. they seriously didn’t call us in for all the weight/blood pressure stuff until 45 minutes after my scheduled appointment time–& i always try to scheduleContinue reading “there are two hearts in my body. that is weird.”

all nesting all the time

in the past week & a half, i have been victimized by three different enormous spiders in the bathroom. the most recent horror was in the sink, desperately scrabbling up the basin to freedom, but being pulled back down by its own girth. jared captured all three & released them into the freedom of theContinue reading “all nesting all the time”

being pregnant isn’t all bad…except when it is

i keep forgetting to tell funny stories about interactions i have related to my pregnancy because i get all caught up in the obnoxious interactions. okay, so sometime last week i went to the gap because they were having a big 60% off sale. i had a bought a t-shirt there a few weeks beforeContinue reading “being pregnant isn’t all bad…except when it is”