sewing brain is worse than baby brain

It’s been a while since I’ve written a personal post here. We’re about due, right? I still have another round of Me-Made May photos to post, but I think the camera is in the bedroom & Jared went to bed early.

I have a shoebox on one of my bookcases that ordinarily contains all my random bits & pieces that get used a lot but don’t necessarily have anywhere else to go: the camera, stamps, spare batteries, the cleaning cloth for my glasses, etc. Ramona calls it “Mommy’s Box of Secrets”. Lately I cannot seem to remember to put anything back in there after I take it out. I used to be so good about it, because I hate not knowing where things are. Stuffing everything in a shoebox isn’t necessarily a Pinterest-worthy solution, but it is a solution.

I asked Jared why I can’t seem to stay organized anymore. I forget to return library books, I mail utility bills without stamping them, I’m constantly losing the USB cord for my iPod. I’d chalk it up to motherhood except that I totally had my shit together when Ramona was a little baby. She was fresh out of the NICU, & I was staying on top of the laundry, reading every issue of “The New Yorker,” & hitting the pool three times a week.

& then. When she was six months old, I got really into sewing. & I’ve never looked back.

Jared blames the sewing. I blame the sewing too. It’s totally the sewing. Who wants to waste time putting USB cords away or reading another obnoxious article in which Jonathan Franzen thinks he’s all smart when one could be sewing, or cutting out fabric, or making pattern alterations? Today alone, I finished sewing a knit shirtdress (& it works! How are knit shirtdresses not a thing sweeping the nation?), I pre-washed fabric to make a bag, a pajama set, & a jacket, I printed out patterns for the jacket, a button-down, & a pair of shorts, & I taped together the button-down pattern & spent a good long time making flat pattern alterations.

I mean, that’s a lot of stuff. I’ve been sewing a LOT lately but I haven’t been able to write about most of it yet because it’s mostly for the Monthly Stitch Indie Pattern Month challenges next month. I’ve finished my garments for the first three challenges & am now ready to jump into the last (& most complicated) one. (Complicated because of what I’m choosing to sew, not necessarily because of the challenge guidelines.)

I actually need to slow down with all this sewing. We’re moving in July & I need to start thinking about packing. I think it’s going to be harder now that Ramona is a year older. When we moved last time, she was just kind of like, “Mom & Dad are putting things in boxes. Okay. Whatever.” But now…let’s just say she has a lot more opinions. If I’m sitting on the couch when she comes downstairs in the morning, she instantly starts in with, “NOOOOO! Mommy cannot sit there! That is MY bed! Mommy needs to move!” Jared was making a grocery list this morning & Ramona basically chained herself to the refrigerator & wailed, “Daddy CANNOT! He should not write a list! Daddy needs to stop writing!” Jared tried to pack up a lot of her old board books to make more room for her picture books (she has so many books, they don’t all fit on her bookcase), but all that did was inspire a board book renaissance. Suddenly she can’t get enough of these books she hasn’t looked it since she was a little baby who couldn’t even walk or talk yet.

On the other hand, she’s also a lot more helpful now. She likes to tidy things up & usually does the things we ask her to do (like putting a dish in the kitchen or handing us a book or something). So maybe it will be okay.

I guess, whether it’s okay or not, it’s happening. We just have to grit our teeth & get through it. At least I won’t be having a miscarriage this time, which will make things a lot easier!

I also need to slow down with the sewing because I made a list of all the projects I have planned (for which I have all the necessary supplies: fabric, pattern, notions, et al), & if I chug along at one project per week, it will take me literally a YEAR to make everything. & what’s the rush? It’s not like I’m sitting here naked. I’m not trying to clothe my family for winter. I just like to sew & would rather sew to the exclusion of most other things. Also…I kind of don’t have any money left for more fabric! My savings account hasn’t looked this pathetic since I was trying to scrape by living by myself in Boston in an apartment that I categorically could not afford (it cost literally 70% of my monthly income, & I still had to buy food & pay for utilities).

Plus I need to save some sewing for August, when Ramona starts preschool. I can’t believe my baby is old enough for preschool! Even though she’s starting a full year later than most other kids her age. I can’t believe I’m sending her out into the cold, hard world of playing parachute & navigating the hierarchy of the teeter totter. Two days a week. I wonder if she will be willing to use her real name at school or I’m going to have to explain to her teachers that she only answers to Ladonna. This has been going on for MONTHS now, with no signs of slowing down.

Published by Ciara

Ciara Xyerra wrote zines for the better part of two decades. She has a brilliant & adorable preschooler named Ramona & sews as much as she possibly can. She lives in Lawrence, Kansas with her boyfriend. She enjoys catching up on "The New Yorker", meatball subs, keeping it cranky, intersectional post-third wave feminism, dinosaurs, & monsters. If you have nothing nice to say, she recommends that you come sit here by her, so you can say not-nice things together.

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