i find it kind of funny, i find it kind of sad…

i just got off the phone with the last organization i had to contact to change my/ramona’s/jared’s address after the move. i made the list two months ago & was only getting through two or three changes a day because the process is so goddamn exhausting. you have to email some people directly, others have handy online forms for instant changes, some won’t accept changes until after you’ve actually moved, others have completely baffling websites that are unnavigable & ultimately lack all useful contact information. plus i was pregnant when i first started making the changes. i just didn’t know it yet. all i knew was that i was constantly exhausted & became weepy when confronted with confusing toll-free number user directories.

but it’s done now! whew! …until we move again in eleven months (assuming jared gets a job that takes us out of kansas). sure can’t wait to do this all again.

i’ve been struggling to find time to sew lately. or read. or finish the last little bit of unpacking. the new house is so much bigger, there’s a lot more ground to cover when ramona is freaking out about something. i’m up & down the stairs all day long, getting a wipe, or another diaper, or a fresh washcloth. & i can’t be on the steps without ramona wanting to come with, & she is convinced that she will die instantly if she isn’t holding hands with me while she navigates the stairs. so a trip up the stairs that would take me five seconds alone becomes a fifteen-minute death march because she has to pause on each step to strike a pose & tell me she’s “fast”.

but i did manage to hit hancock for their “super saturday” sale. i put it on the calendar as soon as i heard about it. the monday before, our car battery died. jared got a jump for it on wednesday so he could take ramona to her first dentist appointment in a raging thunderstorm (she is now obsessed with flossing), but it died again the next day. so jared rode his bike to the auto supply place & bought a new battery. he tried to install it on friday evening, but discovered he needed a special socket wrench to get the old battery out. so on saturday morning, he & ramona went to the hardware store & i stayed home to make my big sewing supply shopping list.

cool story, huh?

i feel like i got a ton of great stuff. i got all kinds of felt & buttons & velcro to make an activity book for ramona. i got interfacing, straps, & zippers to make a new purse. i got millions of buttons for various shirts, shirtdresses, craft projects, skirts, & jeans. i got fabric for my paper-pieced home quilt, some pretty blue pique to make a skirt, & some pink & silver madras for a shirt. my most thrilling score was nearly an entire bolt of black glittery sweater knit from the “spot the bolt” table. less than $2 a yard! i got thread, needles, a big stack of patterns, & probably other stuff i’m forgetting because i bought a ton of stuff.

i set myself a budget of $150, & i actually got all this for under budget! the receipt tallies how much i saved due to all the sales & specials: almost $250! the clerk got all teary-eyed when she saw it & i felt like i was on “supermarket sweep”.

so, i am very pleased, & now i have all the fabric & notions i need to keep me busy sewing for at least a couple of months! which is good, because i have a real stack of projects i want to tackle. i think i’m going to start with the jennifer lauren vintage cressida skirt (using that blue pique, with black buttons), which was part of the sew independent pattern bundle. yeah, i bought it. there were several patterns in the mix that i’d been contemplating already. ten for $38 sounded like quite a reasonable deal to me.

i’ve also decided to do the 1930s farmer’s wife quilt-along. i wanted to make a farmer’s wife sampler anyway, & i’m still feeling pretty into the craft sewing right now. my body is finally starting to look more like itself post-miscarriage, but sometimes it’s nice to just make something pretty without worrying about fitting.

&! i’ve been thinking lately about storage solutions for my thread. right now half of my thread is in a plastic bin & the rest is in a bag in my sewing cabinet. i’ve thought about getting one of those wall-mounted spool pin things, but i’m glad i waited because i found a solid wood printer’s tray at the antiques mall & the little compartments are the perfect size for spools! jared is going to mount it over my cutting table, hopefully this weekend.

i actually found two printer’s trays. one was solid wood & the other was a little cheaper, but with a fiberboard back. when i picked up the cheaper one, the most horrifying spider i have ever seen emerged from beneath. it had a red body with a brown head & it was huge. i shuddered & ran away. i bought the more expensive tray. i figured it was worth it for solid wood & no spiders. when i told jared about it, he said i had unearthed the “$5 giant spider discount”.

school starts again next week & i am praying that toddler gym starts up again soon too. we live a block away now & i suspect i will be taking ramona three times a week (ie, every day that it happens). i think the terrible threes are kicking in a little bit early. ask any parent with a kid over the age of four, & they will tell you that three is WAY worse than two, despite the reputation that two has. two hasn’t been that bad with ramona, but lately, i am at my wit’s end. all she wants to do is take all the books off every bookcase, take every drawer out of every dresser, sit on the back of the couch & pull my hair, etc etc. i took her to the playground yesterday to try to burn off some energy, & as a thank you, she refused to nap. i have found myself occasionally feeling almost grateful for the miscarriage, because she’s been such a handful lately, the idea of adding another to the mix is sincerely terrifying. but you know. mostly i just feel really sad about the miscarriage.

hopefully my next post will be about an actual garment. i have an unblogged dress i made in june. i’ve just been wearing it so much, it seems like it’s always smeared with peanut butter or in the wash or something.

to make up for a text-y post, here’s a photo of ramona running toward a ride at the county fair. for extra atmosphere, i should mention that there was no one else on the midway & the ride was playing “mad world” by tears for fears. it was a little spooky.


Published by Ciara

Ciara Xyerra wrote zines for the better part of two decades. She has a brilliant & adorable preschooler named Ramona & sews as much as she possibly can. She lives in Lawrence, Kansas with her boyfriend. She enjoys catching up on "The New Yorker", meatball subs, keeping it cranky, intersectional post-third wave feminism, dinosaurs, & monsters. If you have nothing nice to say, she recommends that you come sit here by her, so you can say not-nice things together.

2 thoughts on “i find it kind of funny, i find it kind of sad…

  1. Automated voice mail systems make me a little weepy too, even in a non hormonal state. The ones where you have to talk to them like it’s a person? They just make me full on rage-facey.

    Hopefully the stairs won’t be such a PITA when the novelty wears off. LJ is at the point where she can make a quick trip up/down by herself, although you have to be prepared to run up there if she doesn’t come back right away. She sometimes insists on coming with me, but usually she just waits downstairs. The big one is that we have to keep the door to the attic shut at all times, because she likes to climb up there (esp if my husband is in the shower up there), and it is definitely *not* child-proof up there.

    1. ramona continues to be fairly obsessed with the stairs. the newest thing is that she will pause on every stair until i pull her hand a little & say, “let’s go, ramona.” it’s become a game to her, which is a nightmare for me. she also sometimes demands to be carried up or down the stairs, & i’m just waiting for the first time i fall down the stairs while i’m holding her. hopefully it won’t happen, but you never know.

      luckily i have her room fully child-proofed, & there have been a few times that she was happy to hang out up there by herself. not saying she didn’t trash her room a little (clothes & paper everywhere!), but there’s not much in her room that is a pain in the ass to clean up, so it’s all right.

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