in which i resolve to not be boring…& instantly fail

well, i just disappeared into the ether in december, didn’t i? there was just so much to do to get ready for the new year, & we spent eight days in boston, visiting with jared’s family. it was a really good trip. no one got the stomach flu, so it was a huge step up from last year’s barfstravaganza. ramona is so much more fun & interactive now, & i think that was pretty fun for her doting grandparents, aunt, & uncle.

before we left for boston, i’d been stressing a bit because ramona is so retiring & shy with other kids. they hug her, say hi to her, follow her around wanting to play with her, & she just ignores them, or she panics & wants to be held. she seemed to be utterly bamboozled by the concept of names. she could say “ramona,” & she answered to it as far as looking up when it’s said, but if i asked, “can you tell me your name?”, she’d just stare at me.

our second day in boston, we drove down to rhode island to visit a friend with twin girls two weeks older than ramona. ramona was her usual clingy, freaked out self at first, but by the end of our visit, they were all playing like sisters! ramona fell asleep in the car seat on the drive back to the city, & the first thing she said when she woke up was, “ellie?” (that’s the name of one of the twins.) i was pretty thrilled!

i know she’s only just turned two & is still too young to really have “friends,” per se. but i know kids that are younger than her who get so thrilled when they see certain babies & hug them & say their names. i know i shouldn’t compare, but you know. easier said than done.

anyway. now it’s 2015! i sat down to make my yearly list of ten resolutions &…came up nearly entirely blank. one of my resolutions this year is to try to use the recommended amount of laundry detergent instead of my usual “there’s a poop diaper in there, better use a heaping scoop” method. i try to make resolutions that are actually do-able, more or less, & make changes that will actually improve my life, even in a small way. it’s kind of cool that i am apparently so satisfied with my life that i’m down to worrying about wasting laundry detergent, but it doesn’t make for a very exciting resolution.

of course, we do have one big resolution. we’ve decided to go ahead & green light attempts to have another kid. we’d like to have our next kid born before ramona is four (preferably before she’s three, but that gives us a pretty tiny window for getting knocked up again), so we gotta get on it. we still don’t know if jared is going to defend his dissertation this spring or seek out funding to give it another year. we don’t know if we’re staying in lawrence beyond this summer, or where we might move to if we leave. but you know. there’s never a perfect time to have a kid. even after it’s born. even if you think you timed your pregnancy & birth perfectly to mesh into your life with minor disruption, there will come a time when the kid is six months old or two or eight or seventeen when you’ll be like, “& to cap it all, i’m responsible for this kid. FUCK.” so we might as well just jump in.

bear in mind, conceiving ramona took eleven tries. so i’ll be pretty impressed if i’m actually pregnant by the end of 2015. but it’s exciting to move it into the “we will try to make this happen” category instead of leaving it languishing in the “maybe someday” column.

it will be interesting to see what this does to my sewing. i’m on a kind of quilting/zakka/useful things kick right now. i bought a few yards of various sweater knits to try to nail the renfrew pattern & see if i could sort out the bizarre fit issues on the bronte pattern. (though both brontes i’ve made so far are fitting & looking better now that they’ve been washed a few times. & they’re so damn comfy, i wear them all the time, even if the sleeves are long enough for me to smuggle boa constrictors across international borders without raising any suspicions.) then contacted me to say the fabric i chose was sold out. i looked at the site & it said they still had 39 yards, so i wrote back & said, “the site says you have 39 yards? i only ordered two?” they wrote to me again a few days later to say it was sold out, & this time it was gone from the site. & they don’t have anything else that is similar as far as drape, color, & stretch content. so i’m thinking about scrapping my plans for a third bronte & trying the jenna cardigan from muse patterns instead. $12 for a PDF is kind of highway robbery, & i’m always iffy about cardigans because they tend to pull in all the wrong places, but maybe if i’m making it myself…

so that’s a thrilling tale. apparently my secret 2015 resolution is to bore everyone around me into an irreversible coma. bottom line: seriously needs to get their shit together. i understand that the december holidays are their busy season & it’s probably hugely challenging to keep their website accurately updated, but there was a week & a half of lag time between placing my order & being informed that the fabric i chose was unavailable. that’s just bullshit. also, it’s extremely annoying that the bronte top calls for fabric with 75% stretch. that is A LOT of stretch. pickin’s are slim for fabric that stretchy. it’s just not practical, & isn’t the point of knit clothing that it is eminently practical?

anyway, while all this is sorted out, i will amuse myself by making a little pocket for my fitbit that i can snap into all my pocket-less clothes, & exploring the wide world of hand-piecing hexagons. because i’m apparently a 72-year-old grandmother with big plans to go mall-walking.

Published by Ciara

Ciara Xyerra wrote zines for the better part of two decades. She has a brilliant & adorable preschooler named Ramona & sews as much as she possibly can. She lives in Lawrence, Kansas with her boyfriend. She enjoys catching up on "The New Yorker", meatball subs, keeping it cranky, intersectional post-third wave feminism, dinosaurs, & monsters. If you have nothing nice to say, she recommends that you come sit here by her, so you can say not-nice things together.

7 thoughts on “in which i resolve to not be boring…& instantly fail

  1. I must admit I’m a little jealous. But, mostly, I’m happy for you guys. 🙂 I hope it’s a much smoother process this time! shipped me my last order the day I finished the cape I made with the replacement fabric I bought locally. They need to hire etsy’s dev team. I think I’ll be ordering from Hancocks of Paducah from now on.

    1. i also hope it goes much more smoothly this time! we’ll see. i guess at least this time i have been stripped of my illusions, which kind of sucks, but is good for staying grounded.

      i canceled my order. i ordered from hancocks of paducah once & it was a good experience. they had the hard-to-find fabric i wanted for a very nice price & shipping was fast. not sure why i never ordered from them again! just has that obvious name, you know? did you know they’re owned by amazon? i wish they were eligible for prime shipping.

    1. thanks!

      i bought a special rules for cutting hexagons of various sizes like four or five months ago & i still haven’t cut any. right now i’m torn between starting on some sewing up some blocks from “patchwork city” (thinking about making a sampler quilt for jared) or finally making the shirtdress fr which i’ve had both a pattern & fabric for almost a year. i’m reluctant to make clothes in case i find myself pregnant soon, but i’m reluctant to not make clothes because who knows how long getting pregnant will take? i’m reluctant to start jared’s quilt because i’m afraid i won’t finish it before winter is over, but i’m reluctant to put it off because then i definitely won’t finish it before winter is over.

        1. i think i need to tackle the shirtdress. i got so obsessive when we were trying to get pregnant with ramona. it’s just dumb to put my whole life on hold for something that might not happen.

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