i guess i love christmas now? what happened?

have you guys seen this yet? https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/angeliatrinidad/passion-planner-the-one-place-for-all-your-thought?

not that this kickstarter needs my help, having already raised 38 times its goal, but you know. this is the kind of thing that is almost embarrassingly my jam. when i lived in boston, i went to bob slate (an awesome independent office supply shop) literally everyday. i bought several times my body weight in various notebooks, planners, journals, & specialty paper craft supplies. i actually imposed a notebook moratorium on myself a few years ago, because i have literally milk crates full of blank or mostly-blank notebooks. (they’ve come in very handy now that ramona is getting obsessed with paper.)

i don’t really have a great need for a planner at this point in my life, since i am no longer involved in all kinds of collective projects with meetings & shifts, etc etc, but i could very well make an exception for this one. i’m such a sucker for stuff like this.

anyway. an update on my back: my doctor is thinking torn trapezius muscle &/or pinched nerve. she wrote me a prescription for more vicodin (without making me feel like a pill hound, which i appreciated), but i haven’t needed them yet. i’m still far from fully recovered, but i’m feeling much better compared to a week ago. i’ve been taking it easy, not doing any sewing (*sob*), & i saw my massage therapist yesterday. she’s really a miracle worker. she always gives me extra time on the table if we find a spot that needs a lot of extra attention (& is tipped accordingly). i swear, i walked out of there feeling four inches taller.

but i’m feeling nervous about doing any more big sewing projects when i don’t have an appropriate cutting area. i don’t know for sure that sewing is what caused this (my 40-pound toddler could also be a culprit), but i never really had a lot of problems with my shoulders before i started sewing in earnest. (then again, i didn’t get into sewing until i had a baby, so…)

jared is supportive of my quest for a good sewing/cutting table. i’m really fortunate to have a dedicated sewing space already, especially given how small our house is. i know a lot of people are working on their kitchen tables & having to clear everything away for meals three times a day. i have a big folding table in the living room. but my dream is to replace it with a cutting table of an appropriate height & a sewing table that my sewing machine fits into, since mine is pretty lightweight & tends to skitter all over the table while i’m sewing.

i was looking at the tutorial for a d.i.y. cutting table that was posted on the closet case files blog some months ago (aside: i still think that is a really strange name for a blog; apparently she means, like, the case files of a closet, not the files of a closet case, which would perhaps be more the more entertaining read), but i don’t want something that big. i don’t have space for something that big. maybe i can scale it down? or get jared to scale it down? but i’m also not sure i have the space for a big d.i.y. building project like that, & with winter right around the corner, we can’t count on doing it outside.

speaking of winter, today was the first snow. i actually took a walk in it (i’ve been trying to go for a walk everyday to make up for how little i get myself to the pool). it wasn’t really sticking yet, so it was nice. i started feeling all christmas-y, which is funny, since my family was never big on christmas when i was a kid & i never really got into it as an adult. now that we have ramona though, i kind of want to go balls-out for christmas. like, make a wreath, get a tree, make cookies, cut out paper snowflakes, try to teach ramona the value of giving or whatever. we did do the whole tree thing a few times when i was kid & i remember how good it smelled & how kind of thrilling it was to see the lights twinkling against the garlands.

(un?)fortunately, we travel every year for christmas, to see jared’s family. the one exception was 2012. christmas was about four weeks before my due date, so we were already planning to stay put that year. my doctor didn’t want me going out of state in my last month. & then, of course, ramona was born at the end of november & spent most of december in the NICU. she was released on christmas eve (best present ever!), but obviously that was really too late to go get a tree or do anything much besides maybe drink a little egg nog (which i love & jared hates). so jared made a tree by draping a green apron over a broom & sticking a lobster claw-shaped oven mitt on top as a “star”.



of course, having a guaranteed reason to go to boston every year is great! & seeing jared’s family is even more fun now that we have ramona. she loves them, they love her, & i love watching people coo over her. (if that’s wrong, i don’t want to be right.) ramona found a picture of santa claus recently & started calling it “grampy,” since her grampy actually does have white hair & a beard. now she asks for it everyday by saying, “grampy! grampy!”

& being in boston for christmas is twice as great. it’s kind of a christmas-y city. it’s just all snowy (usually–we did have one very mild december there in 2011) & densely populated so you get to see so many lights & wreaths. & probably a big part of it is spending time with jared’s family. that family time just feels christmas-y to me now. i’m not really close to my own family & spent most of my adulthood being grumpy about the holidays because everything was closed & my friends were all out of town & it was boring. (one thanksgiving, i went to maine to see my friends jessika rae. thanksgiving day was super-cold & you know. we were punks. we weren’t going to celebrate some imperialist genocidal “holiday”. jessika rae’s boyfriend said, “i really want coffee. i wish the coffeeshop was open. i mean, don’t get me wrong. i’m an anarchist. i wish everything was closed everyday. but i really want some coffee right now.”)

anyway, ramona is getting grumpy & demanding lunch, & this post really veered off in a weird, unexpected direction.

Published by Ciara

Ciara Xyerra wrote zines for the better part of two decades. She has a brilliant & adorable preschooler named Ramona & sews as much as she possibly can. She lives in Lawrence, Kansas with her boyfriend. She enjoys catching up on "The New Yorker", meatball subs, keeping it cranky, intersectional post-third wave feminism, dinosaurs, & monsters. If you have nothing nice to say, she recommends that you come sit here by her, so you can say not-nice things together.

4 thoughts on “i guess i love christmas now? what happened?

  1. Whoa, 40 lb toddler? That would tear every muscle in my back, I’m pretty sure. And now I want a passion planner and a Christmas tree that’s really easy to dress/clean up.

    1. she might not be 40 pounds. but she’s at least 30. we’ll find out at her 2-year check-up in like a week. i’m morbidly curious about the number. she towers over some of her baby friends that are like six months older than her.

  2. I think Bob Slate went out of business. 😦 All of the locations that I knew are closed now. One of them is a crappy chain mexican restaurant. Blech.

    I have a jacked up trapezius. My shoulder muscles are all out of whack because I have a slight scoliosis (Not as bad as yours, but enough enough to cause problems. I think it’s something like eleven degrees? It was just under the cutoff for having to wear a back brace when they figured it out when I was a teenager). I can only imagine the pain that it’s causing you. Back when it really bothered me (it’s been better the past few years, knock on wood), I would sometimes end up lying on the floor and crying. I hope you start feeling better soon. I wouldn’t wish that kind of pain on anyone.

    I have a pretty big craft area in our attic, but I also need a craft table for it. I’m currently using a mashup of a folding table and all of the random furniture that we didn’t know what to do with, so we stuck it up there. My whole craft area is basically the catchall for random crap we don’t know what to do with. I hate clutter, so when I’m being all OCD and shit, I end up dragging stuff up there so it’s out of the way. I want to pare down the furniture and get/make a real crafting table. I think we figured out how to take a couple of old end tables and make something useful with them… but it’s going to be a bit of a DIY project and I’m going to need Kristian’s help for it. He’s been doing so much other stuff on the house lately, I don’t want to bug him.

    I am un unabashed Christmas lover. I actually hate that it comes so early these days, because I want it to be special. And I want to be able to get into it without feeling guilty. Weird, right? I’m not sure when you guys are coming to Boston, but we always have a big Sunday night party where I make a bunch of cookie dough and then we back cookies with all of our friends. If you’re in town, you’re totally invited. It’s very kid friendly. 🙂

    1. is your sunday christmas thing the sunday before christmas or the sunday after? we will be there for the sunday after.

      i know bob slate went into new management & re-opened in harvard square where wordsworth bookstore used to be. but it was definitely not as good as the previous iteration. did that location close?

      we’re probably going to move this summer, so…i don’t know. maybe it doesn’t make sense to sink time & money into a sewing area that fits our current space. i am hoping hoping hoping that we’ll have a bit more space wherever we end up…but we’re also talking about getting serious about having another kid (maybe?), so…who the fuck knows. i’m just going to keep prowling thrift stores for furniture that suits my purposes & see what happens.

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