exciting night last night. ramona cuddled up to jared in bed…& then ralphed everywhere. while i changed her outfit & wiped the puke out of her hair, jared stripped the bed & huffed around demanding to know what he was going to use as a blanket now. i was like, “um, the huge quilt i made for us that is just laying on the floor?” as soon as ramona was in clean pajamas, she was all smiles again, but we gave her a bit of baby tylenol & benadryl anyway. the last time this happened, it was the first hurrah of an ear infection & she threw up two more times in the night. but last night she fell right back to sleep, stayed asleep, & woke up looking perfectly fine. no feverishness, no pain as far as we can tell.
we spent the week of christmas in boston visiting with jared’s family & other folks we know out there. jared’s brother, david, arranged a house-sitting situation for us, & it was pretty awesome. the apartment had two stories (!!!), so we were able to put ramona to bed in a borrowed pack n’ play upstairs & then go back downstairs to hang out with david & alana (david’s partner) until it was time for adults to go to bed. there were skylights throughout the bedroom upstairs & every time i woke up in the night, i looked out the skylight, saw the blurry outline of the chimney (since i wasn’t wearing my glasses), & panicked because i thought it was a guy on the roof, watching us sleep through the skylight.
highlights from the week included taking ramona to a toy store in inman square that has a ball pit in the back room (at first she hated it, then she liked it, then she hated it again), & going to the children’s museum with a friend who has twin girls just two weeks older than ramona. the boston children’s museum has an entire room just for kids under three. there were a million cool things for them to play with–a train set, a playhouse, a pretend kitchen, soft stacking blocks…ramona is usually a bit shy in new situations & around new babies & likes to take some time to look around before she starts partying. but she dove right in to the children’s museum. at one point, she crawled right over to a small staircase, crawled right to the top, & then turned around & crawled back down. she had never been on stairs before. i was very impressed!
we dropped ramona off with jared’s parents two days after christmas so we could have our “baby-free weekend”. we had booked a room at a bed & breakfast in cambridge, as had our friend bart & his girlfriend. we had all kinds of big plans: go out to the bar & drink like adults do, window whop, maybe even have dinner in the north end! we went for coffee & pastries at a coffeeshop near the B&B, but we were very tired & headed back to the room before long. bart came by to make dinner plans & i told jared, “why don’t you just head out without me? i think i’ll take a little nap & then catch up with you.”
but instead…within an hour, i had a full-blown stomach flu. it seriously hit maybe two hours after we dropped ramona off. i spent the next ten hours dozing for fifteen minutes at a time, in between bouts of puking into a trash can. jared brought me pepto bismol & gatorade, but i couldn’t keep any of it down. he talked to the front desk & they loaned him a freebie room for the night in the interest of him avoiding my sickness (irving house in cambridge! they’re the best!), but when i finally woke up at around 2am feeling like i was keeping fluids down at last, i heard jared vomiting a few rooms away. he didn’t get it quite as bad as i did, but both of us spent our entire baby-free weekend sick in bed. & when we went back to newton to catch up with ramona, we discovered that david, alana, & jared’s mom had also all caught the bug. what fun!
i got really dehydrated from all the puking & my milk supply took a hit. usually i pump ten to twelve ounces per session, but i was only getting three or four. while decanting milk at jared’s parents’ house, i found a ten-ounce bottle that was just plain spoiled. i dumped it with a pang, but was like, “eh, we still have more than enough for her.” but thirty more ounces spoiled on the plane ride back to kansas. i blame southwest for setting their airplane thermostat to like 175 degrees. it was so fucking hot on that plane. i was like, “okay, i think we still have enough, but barely. i’m not sick anymore, i have access to my favorite snacks, i’ll just double down on rehydrating & we should be all right.”
but after ramona finished her bedtime bottle last night, i only had four ounces left in the fridge. ramona usually eats about thirty ounces a day. i’m still only pumping maybe 20 or 25 ounces a day thanks to being sick. so i had to take a bag of frozen milk out of the freezer to defrost. i have never, ever had to dip into the frozen stash before. i’m not even 100% sure how to fix a bottle made with frozen milk. jared wants to flash-heat it for at-home pasteurization.
i know this is a dumb non-problem to have. i mean, ramona is 13 months old. she eats table food. she doesn’t NEED breast milk anymore. i do still have a supply & it’s beginning to rebound (i just pumped nine ounces–pretty close to my average), & i have several hundred ounces of milk stashed in the freezer. & running out of fresh milk is less because of supply issues than because of rogue spoiling. but i still feel kind of crappy about it. i guess combined with the fact that jared has been under the weather ever since we flew home (some kind of cold? a major cough) & ramona’s puking episode, i feel like it’s up to me to keep us from falling apart, but i’m not even managing to do this one thing that only i can do, & that i’ve done successfully for over a year. i feel especially bad because i had an appointment to donate my frozen stash to another mom (a pregnant one, even! her baby is younger than ramona & she’s already knocked up again & not feeling great), & i had to cancel in case i need the frozen milk for ramona.