it’s october!


happy ramona xyerra-octaber! it’s my favorite month! maybe i will kick things off by taking ramona to the playground & trying a pumpkin spice latte. i’ve never had one. but it’s supposed to be almost 90 degrees today (WHYYYY) so maybe hot drinks are not the best idea.

september was a bit of a lost month for me. i was in a fog for most of the month. i don’t know what the hell was the matter with me, but thankfully i seem to be fully recovered now. i’m ready to tackle a new month & the rest of 2013. though, i always feel this way on the first of the month. by the third, i am like, “next month is totally going to be the month i get my shit together. this month is a wash. better to just subsist on stale packets of saltines from the back of the pantry & never change out of pajamas.”

jared has a lot of deadlines this month, which means i may be doing a bit more baby care than usual. this is too bad for ramona, who is obsessed with jared. i guess she’s obsessed with whichever parent she hasn’t seen lately, & unfortunately for me, that parent is usually jared. she & i were hanging out in the kitchen yesterday when jared came home from school. i was working at my desk (which is in the kitchen now–my sewing table is in the living room where my desk used to be, & the kitchen table is in the library where the sewing table used to be) & ramona was sitting on the floor, playing with her blocks. she heard jared open the door & she just started booking it into the living room. she’s still not crawling in the classic hands-&-knees crawling sense. she army-crawls, flat on the ground, kind of slithering along. but she’s pretty fast at it. i’m starting to wonder if she might just be one of those babies that never crawls in the typical way. she’ll go straight from army-crawling to walking. anyway, she hauled ass into the living room to see jared. it was so cute & sweet that i may possibly have teared up ever so slightly.

& this morning, jared set an early alarm so he could work on his dissertation for a while before everyone else got up. when ramona woke up, she slithered/rolled all the way from her crib, across the bed, to where i was sleeping & started patting me on the back, being all, “mom, mom, hey mom, mom? i’m ready to get up now.” jared came in to get her & was like, “awww, did she crawl all the way across the bed to say good morning to you?”

she’s also able to sit up on her own. i finally saw her do it the other day while i was putting away laundry. she’s very casual about it. one second she’s laying on her belly; the next second she’s sitting there like it’s no big deal. it’s such a relief to not have to pick her up & set her back to sitting every time she falls over anymore. i’m sure it’s a relief to her too.

yesterday i took her to the playground by the kickball field, which isn’t where we usually go. usually we got to the playground by the train park, but i thought i’d branch out a little & walk through east lawrence. i had forgotten that there are like no decent sidewalks anywhere except for downtown. i was wheeling ramona over dirt, grass, overgrown bricks from the 19th century, straight up piles of gravel…by the time we got to the playground, which is really only like six blocks from our house, i was exhausted. she made friends with a 16-month-old baby who was really a full-on toddler, wearing actual shoes & an actual hairstyle & everything. i can’t believe ramona might be that big in just six months!

on the way home, i toured through the “lawrence arts district,” including these fancy new lofts that opened a while ago up the street from our house. i really want to see what they’re like on the inside. they are in some kind of converted 19th century grocery store or something. some big brick thing with enormous arched windows. but they are also right on the edge of residential east lawrence. across the street is, like, a hydroelectric plant & a bunch of creepy warehouses & stuff. & it’s all right next to the train tracks. it was a little depressing. closer to my house was a little screenprinting shop i’d never seen before & a little art studio that offers classes or something. so. the lawrence arts district. i don’t know why i found it so crushingly depressing. logically, i know there are people who intentionally move to lawrence because they think it’s cool: this hip little town where it’s pretty cheap to live & you can probably scrape by silkscreening t-shirts or maybe working at one of the music venues or something, & if you ever start feeling suffocated, just hop in the car & go to kansas city. but it feels so provincial to me. like a place to escape. i wish i didn’t feel this way. especially considering that i’ve lived here for over four years now. that’s a long time to just not really be into the town you’re living in.

maybe i’ll miss it after we leave. stranger things have happened.

jared is possibly applying for two different jobs in portland. i wonder what it would be like to live in portland as an actual adult? i moved away when i was 21. if he gets one of these jobs, we’d be moving back right before i turn 35. portland is really pretty & the schools are pretty good. man, i definitely would not have cared about when i lived there before.

but these are both jobs & jared seems to be leaning more toward prioritizing a post-doc or a research fellowship, which would take us to the east coast.

oh yeah, i made two new skirts over the weekend:




bookshelves with a stripey ruffle! i have these knee socks printed to look like lederhosen, & they look especially good with this skirt. it’s “a lot of look,” as they might say on “project runway,” but i like to wear crazy prints like this because it amuses ramona.

Published by Ciara

Ciara Xyerra wrote zines for the better part of two decades. She has a brilliant & adorable preschooler named Ramona & sews as much as she possibly can. She lives in Lawrence, Kansas with her boyfriend. She enjoys catching up on "The New Yorker", meatball subs, keeping it cranky, intersectional post-third wave feminism, dinosaurs, & monsters. If you have nothing nice to say, she recommends that you come sit here by her, so you can say not-nice things together.

3 thoughts on “it’s october!

    1. i haven’t heard that & haven’t had a chance since you commented, but i’ll try. i too have a really hard time dragging myself away from NICU stuff.

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