tiny baby 4ever

i stopped by the library this morning after therapy to pick up a book i’d put on hold (as if i ever have time to read anything not on my ereader). i noticed that there were a lot of babies in the library & i realized that the 9:30am books & babies event was ending. i saw one woman with a baby that looked pretty young, not much older than ramona. i stopped & asked how old her baby was. “five months,” she said. “did you just get out of the books & babies thing?” i asked. “yeah,” she said. “my baby is four months, but i wonder if she’s too young for it still? it says it’s for babies starting at eight months,” i said. “i started taking my baby a few weeks ago & she likes it. you should bring yours!” she encouraged me. so i went home & bundled ramona into the mei tai & went back to the library. (pretty easy when the library is literally right across the street.)

there was a six-week-old baby there, so ramona wasn’t the youngest baby…but the six-week-old was really just there because her older sister was. the older baby was a legitimate books & babies age, like close to a year & a half, maybe? there was a lot of stuff ramona couldn’t do, like the hand motions with the songs, or comprehending the difference between yellow & pink, or having any fucking clue what a speckled frog is. but she seemed to like it. she smiled a lot (as always). & she especially enjoyed looking at the other babies. at one point, she caught my eye & jutted out her lower lip. when i didn’t hop to it & immediately stick a bottle in her mouth, she did it again. i started laughing…& she did it again. i have tried to catch this pout-face on camera because it’s the cutest, funniest thing, but she’s too fast for me. i wonder which one of us, me or jared, she inherited that from?

but because the books & babies thing is for older babies, it was…overwhelming. so many kids running around, trying to tackle the librarian & get at the puppets she was using, camping out under the table & demolishing entire boxes of animal crackers, digging through their parents’ diaper bags for snacks & sippy cups…i am not looking forward to ramona becoming a toddler. i am enjoying the hell out of this baby time. sure, it’s a little labor-intensive, but it’s going to be even worse when i have to chase her around & keep her out of all the drawers & bags & cupboards in the house. can’t we just skip straight from babyhood to kindergarten?

i just try to tell myself that she will become a toddler gradually enough that it won’t actually be that bad. after all, when she was a sleepy newborn, i was terrified of her becoming more alert & being at that age where she only naps twice a day. & yet, here we are & i love it. so hopefully i will learn to love toddlerhood as well.

she went to the doctor yesterday because jared thought her hemangioma (the red bump on her head) looked weird. like it was bruised or something. i figured it was probably nothing, because that is my assumption about everything baby-related. i read something yesterday about how hard it is to be a new parent because you are constantly fretting over every little thing: is she sleeping enough? is she sleeping too much? is she pooping okay? is she eating enough? is she getting enough stimulation? is she putting on weight okay? etc etc etc. i honestly don’t worry about any of that crap. i figure, she’s alive, we must be doing something right. there’s the classic joke about the first-time parent who boils the pacifier after every use…& then has a second baby & proceeds to maybe give it a quick rinse if it falls in the litterbox. that’s me, but i’m already in second baby mode. i chalk it up to the chaotic circumstances of ramona’s birth. i had no control over any of that & i think it broke my need to control everything else. (ramona doesn’t take a pacifier though. the thing no one tells you when they are preparing you for the great pacifier or no-pacifier debate is that teaching a tiny baby to use a pacifier is a total pain in the ass. you actually have to hold it in their mouth until they can hold on to it themselves. why go to all that effort only to have to break them of the habit a year or three later?)

anyway, the discoloration around the hemangioma is just a little bit of cradle cap. it’s hard to get the skin there properly clean because of the bump. but it was nice to get ramona looked over a bit before we load her on to an airplane & fly to detroit for her first vacation next week. we also got to weigh her. she’s tipping the scales at twelve pounds, twelve ounces. that’s still pretty small for her real age of four months, but it’s gargantuan for her gestational age of two months. she seriously would have been so big if she’d been born on time. oh well.



loving her bouncy chair!Imagetiny cobra!


ironic bib.


flying baby!

Published by Ciara

Ciara Xyerra wrote zines for the better part of two decades. She has a brilliant & adorable preschooler named Ramona & sews as much as she possibly can. She lives in Lawrence, Kansas with her boyfriend. She enjoys catching up on "The New Yorker", meatball subs, keeping it cranky, intersectional post-third wave feminism, dinosaurs, & monsters. If you have nothing nice to say, she recommends that you come sit here by her, so you can say not-nice things together.

2 thoughts on “tiny baby 4ever

  1. We have those same pants!

    I used to get sad about Lilian getting so much bigger, and doing it so quickly. “She’ll never be this tiny again!” I would wail to Kristian, and he would look at me like I was a crazy person. But she seriously gets more and more delightful every day. We have so much fun together. I can cuddle up to her and she’ll divebomb my face or nuzzle into my neck. She was an incredibly sweet tiny baby, but she’s even more fun as a tiny human.

    We had a hell of a time getting rid of her cradle cap, because she has so much hair, it got in the way. What we finally did was to put some baby oil on it 5-10 minutes before bath time, then shampoo it out.

    1. i saw another little girl the other day with those same pants. i got them at TJ maxx. maybe that’s a popular place to get discount baby clothes?

      sometimes i think about how ramona has already tripled her birth weight (!!!) & it’s kind of overwhelming. she used to be so tiny that we had to use two fingers to pat her back because it was too small to accommodate an adult palm. but she really does get more interesting every day. she just started laughing, which is pretty adorable. & i am LOVING this ceiling fan phase. she’ll be the grumpiest baby on the block, but if i turn on the ceiling fan, all is forgiven. i am looking forward to her being old enough for the playground!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: